“I have a funny story to tell you that’s a mix of divine comedy and paradoxical satire.”
Earlier this week, I said goodbye to my Los Angeles home and packed up to head down South to a little town called Carmel Valley. It’s a special place that’s right on the perimeter of a city called Del Mar, which is about a mile and half away from my dad’s home (and my family)…
… and if you were to ask me a nice way to describe the new neighborhood, I would say “suburbia“.
Which makes me laugh, because I went from living in one of the hippest and most happening areas in Los Angeles (Santa Monica) to almost overnight, being in track-home central surrounded by family parks and screaming kids.
… But I’m close to my dad…and that’s really all that matters right now.
So laugh with me…
… Because that’s really the best way to handle a situation like this….with comedy.
Seriously, can you see how hilarious and interesting life is!?!? If my so-called “plans” unfolded the way my consciousness was intending, I would currently be living on the tropical island of Maui (Hawaii) on a large plot of land surrounded by fruit trees and waterfalls…
… And instead, I am here, right now, in San Diego, in a big house, with a nice yard, and new carpet. What a trip…
So what’s the point?
… You may be thinking to yourself (because that’s what I would be doing if I was reading this….haha).
The point is that life is mysterious, magical, and un-known. No matter how much you attempt to predict and control your circumstances, it is absolutely inevitable that, at some point, something will happen that will dramatically and drastically shift you from your course.
And guess what….there is nothing you can do about it.
So the question is not: “how do you prevent these types of things from happening?” but rather “how are you going to handle them when they do?”
… Are you going to dwell in your story, and take every opportunity to attract sympathy and remorse from others (because they will give it to you)?
… Or are you going to experience the circumstance fully, learn every lesson that you can, and take every opportunity to transmute this energy into something good and useful?
Because…
What I have learned over the years is that life is nothing more than a perspective… A vantage point… A string of decisions.
… And how enjoyable, rich, happy, loving, and grateful you are comes down to one thing… what perspective you take..
So here’s my question to you?
How are you going to handle your current reality?
… Are you going to see your circumstances as a barrier to the fulfillment of your desires?
Or are you going to find a way turn them into something positive, something useful, that lights a fire under you to really help people in a way that you never have before…with courage and passion.
Because I’ll be honest with you…
That is exactly what I feel like is happening to me these days.
As time feels more and more precious, and as I am faced with even more challenging, crazy, unexpected circumstances…
… I feel an even deeper sense of duty, purpose, and responsibility to share these profound life-lessons with you, in a way that you really get, in the hopes that they will help you experience more happiness, joy, fulfillment in your life immediately…
… because this brings me great joy.
Which, if you can see, is pretty amazing because for so long, business has been such a source of pain and suffering for so many people. Yet today, it can be the very thing that brings you an exceptional amount of joy and comfort…even in times of intense pain and transformation.
… Which is why I am so passionate and committed to teaching you everything I can so you can create a business that gives you this same freedom and opportunity.
Because I’ll say this: Between being able to share these stories with you, and having an absolute kick-ass awesome team that continues to drive our business forward in remarkably powerful ways…
I am grateful. Truly. Deeply. Authentically 
Share your thoughts…
If this personal letter inspired you, angered you, excited you, comforted you, or made you feel funny (no, not the sliding down the rope in gym class kinda funny)…
Please leave a comment below.
I can’t tell you how much I enjoy reading your expressions.
Much love,
Max
P.S. As of this morning, we had 12 spots left for Get Centered Fast….so I imagine they will be gone by the end of the weekend. If you need support in shaping a life perspective that serves you, CLICK HERE to watch the short video…
Hi Max,
I am at my fourth major crossroads in my life. I survived cancer at age 18, learned my oldest son and I had forms of Autism when I was 35, and became a single parent to then three boys with forms of Autism at 38. Now at age 40 I’m looking to transform a local counseling practice into a national coaching business for those on the Autism Spectrum. Just trying to learn how.
Our choice are not always made with a crystal ball on hand. The unfolding of each moment is a gift to juice if we stay available to receive. Each cross road is part of the adventure. We can pretend to have control, yet in the surrender comes grace. Beside, San Diego is full of coolness. When is the housewarming gathering?
What to say? For me life altering situation’s have become second nature. Falling in love that lead to residance in a country other than my birth followed by years of culture shock and heart opening events. Then divorce single parent and survival all very scary stuff in a strange land Ha! ha! there’s a book there somewhere. And then the unexpected my best friend died leaveing behind her child. For me and my daughter we went from single parent and one child to single parent with two children. We have been blessed with an abundance of love and apprecation for this beautieful life. My girls have just finished there first year of college and are home for the summer. As I look back it is with a warm heart that it all happens to help us become more loving and takes us into parts so deep we would never have found them otherwise
My heart to your heart
Caroline
Max:
Thank you for being so open about the major “pop quiz:, “presto-chango” situation with your wonderful father that led you to make a choice to be near your Dad and end up in suburbia.
To me, your choice and perspective highlights Love with a vibrational energy that supercedes external locales..
Heartfelt gratitude..
Carol
One of the few things that I know to be true is that, at times, we don’t have control over what life offers us, we only have control over how we choose to meet what is given. Amazing things happen when we choose to meet life’s challenges with openness and love. Love and light, Elizabeth
Hi Max, thanks for sharing Your story. This makes you more real and authentic. The picture of ‘gurus’ and people who appear very strong, calm, self-centred on the outside helped for a long time. And i honour this.
There is a wonderful openess when you share your own vulnerability and worries and concerns with ‘everyday’ problems and questions we all have. It is nice when a guru comes down from the mountaintops into the marketplace or from the beach into suburbia. That’s too where life happens and maybe where you are needed more. Maui is still there for you. Isn’t it much more fulfilling to bring Maui to people who will never dreamt to get there? Even in imagination?
Be open for the magic and wonders you will experience in ‘plain normal places’.
With much love and trust that we’re always in the right place and trust that there is a higher purpose, Jutta
Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans. ” -John Lennon
Dude- You think Carmel Valley is “uncool”?!?
I too just left Los Angeles to return “home” to Lancaster County, Pennsylvania to be near family-
Yep-
I traded being bumper to bumper on the 405 for amish buggy wheels!
My husband was in a horrible motorcycle accident-
we actually were separated- heading for divorce- and an 18 yr old driver hit him-
while he was on my motorcycle, none the less-
An event like has a way of changing your priorities and opening your eyes and heart-
Medical Bliss and a failing California economy forced us from our home to start over.
We bought a home down the street from my father who is elderly and needing our help.
Long story short:
we’re back together and it’s a challenge-
But these we’re not “our plans”
I wake up everyday wondering and welcoming “what’s next?”
I’ve had the pleasure of speaking to your dad at a few conferences-
You’re doing the right thing.
Peace-
Renee
( i met u loooong ago on intentblog- i was one of your first myspace friends…)
Hi Max,
I love your story. Life is a trip and being open to the ride is exciting and fun. It is not the destination but the journey where there is most joy and the most learning. I had our beautiful family of three children all mapped out in my mind. The older two children followed through (mostly) on how it should all unfold (except for a major medical issue and a situational suicide attempt). Looking back on this time, while I was going through things with them, nothing seemed to turn out as it should. Looking back on it now, 10 years later, I see how important all of the bumps in the road made me into the parent I am today.
OUr youngest daughter did not fit the mold of what I had dreamed. She is an amazing, bright young woman who faced tremendous bullying, low self esteem and difficulties finding herself. She became a Crystal Meth addict at 17 and our beautiful family life transformed from one of realized dreams to chaos and despair. We offered her treatment and she refused. We kicked her out at 18 years old with no visible means of support. For 9 months we did not know where she was and would only hear from her occasionally. Those 9 months were the hardest of my life but that is when I went on a journey into my soul and found my way into trusting, believing, staying centered etc. After 9 months she went into treatment and today 2 years later she is happy, healthy and travelling the world. As I look back on the years when she struggled and where it all ended up, I realize that I may not have chosen this path for any of us, but it has helped me find my passion in supporting families in setting boundaries, trusting their inner wisdom and enjoying the journey that parenthood is for them. Now I have my new program Parent your teens with confidence and it has stemmed from the tools and strategies that I used as I went through this journey and came out the other side whole and grounded.
Thanks for sharing yourself so dearly with us Max. I love working with you.
Gerrianne
Welcome to San Diego Max!!
Of course you’ve heard, No matter where you go, there you are. And in your case, that’s a good thing! Obviously you’ve figured out how to embrace change, even when it’s uncomfortable. You’re new landscape will only serve as a conduit to hightened Expression and continued Growth.
America’s Finest City just got a little finer having You as a resident Max!!
Much Love-
Kadie
Hi Max
I get it, too
Ten years ago I decided to leave “paradise” on the island of Kauai and find some place more “challenging” I could feel a refocusing at inner levels and asked myself what I really wanted and suprisingly it wasn’t living in paradise, but growth, learning AND spiritual enlightenment! My friends on the islands had been saying the same groovy things and also created judgements about “the mainland.” Being the “exclusive ones” who had no stress didn’t appeal to me any longer so I launched myself to Monroe, Louisiana!!!!
I can remember the tantilizing beauty of Kauai loosing its hold of me and as I flew off I didn’t feel the urge to return. The last few weeks there were like living in a postcard rather than in a dynamic relationship with life itself. My Spirit said, “Don’t look back” as I fed my 4 horses for the last time that morning and walked down the corridor to the plane away from my 7 year relationship with Steve.
And landed in the “airpit of America” or so it seemed. Nothing could prepare me for my experience and the lessons I had to learn but life itself. I asked what, how, who???? And the answer that came back, “Just start…….”
I moved into my new creation and my movements reoriented me to what we call, “Living in the NOW”, no matter how uncomfortable, no matter the appearance. How do we compost our perceptions into what truly works for the upliftment of humans into this next stage of evolution? How do we truly love? and then love more….and more….until there is no me anymore.
I have strengthened my spiritual connections from my experiences and learned what illusion truly is and where to put my focus. I have only been back to the islands once and don’t care to return. My life is absolutely fabulous, yet may not look like that to others who judge from looking at the outside.
I am ready to teach what I KNOW. It is called, “Water’s Edge”
I, too, am in San Diego, visiting my ailing Father. Isn’t that interesting?
I am here until Wed if you want to get together. Wouldn’t that be spontaneous?
Love
Chante’
The CONUNDRUM of daily existence exudes. I too, believe it is what we do with ourselves that counts for something. When I am accountable, and respond to life’s varying ever-changing variables, in a well thought out manner, and no matter how disgruntled I feel at the time, live in accord with an also ever re-evaluated value system that I believe has integrity, amazingly, I can’t say life gets any easier. Hmmm, I think deeply. Though one might expect or want to walk a path of ease it doesn’t seem to happen readily, thus the CONUNDRUM… but oddly and simultaneously, I do believe this planet is truly a special place on which to walk, to live, to IN-HABIT, support one another. To grow and to share our talents and to seek our higher purpose, while every day getting up and trudging up or down the hill, or packing and moving to a place that isn’t quite where we thought we might like to move to or toward. TO LOVE, TO HONOR and yes TO OBEY, unique and principled, but not judged sanctions of what it takes to create a higher order just for today, is truly a sign of compassion in action and what I hope one day unquestionably “business as usual”… I highly recommend Max’s work if you are an entrepreneur looking for leadership and want your company to be a shining exemplary, above board part of a global change for corporate life. I wake up each morning and say, WHAT DO I WANT TO “INCORPORATE” TODAY… Though I can’t predict, I wonder; How will I feel at the end of today… How will I sleep in my knowing or wondering… Can I sit with myself? HOW MUCH CAN I LOVE… HOW MAY I BE OF SERVICE… and the answers come as a new dawn shows it’s face repetitively, never failing me as I hold onto and let go of… Peace, smiles and love always, Bobi
Hi Max. Congrats on your beautiful new move
I have been wondering what is in the astrology right now, because it is a huuuge month for moves. I too just made a very last minute move this week, and am looking forward to it being a positive life change. Can’t wait to see how everyone’s stories unfold. Good luck and blessings!
I have enjoyed reading your blogs and watching your videos. Thank you for sharing your unfolding journey with such rich authenticity.
I will be having my own weekly radio show on Transformation Talk Radio beginning next month. A focus of my show is finding the blessing in the wound. I would LOVE to chat with you live about this and related topics.
Many Blessings,
Lynnet McKenzie
lynnet@openingtoecstasy.com
when I think of the image of you going ‘back’ to be with your father, a sense of stillness and a clarity comes up. Not the clarity that brings ‘aha’ type feeling max, but clarity of a more sacred quiet nature. And an opportunity for great closeness with your self. Perhaps this is your desire manifesting. I do not know.
..it’s just that, all the hipness and coolness and beauty also brings dissilusionment. I have always been attracted to it and the deeper I work with myself; the more I can see that true joy, true peace, truth….is not dependent on hipness coolness and beauty.
Im very humbled to read everyones comments because I dont think I have lived as deeply as many of these people. I have been caught between ‘realness’ and ‘illusion’ and it is only recently that my being has slowed down enough to allow and watch a new type of process and perspective emerge.
Its like dancing for so many years without having any lessons in the fundamental steps … you can still dance ; but you fumble way more than you need to… and then going back to the beginning… step by step , brick by brick…. this is where I’m at.
It’s sort of like going home to me.
With much appreciation and much peace to you… xo
I love this story and agree whole heartedly. When I was let go from a new job last year for no good reason beyond craziness and ego (no, not mine), I had a choice in how to respond. I decided to welcome the opportunity with open arms and see where it took me. I’m still not at the destination, but I’m finding beauty in the moments. I’m going to link to this story from my website, an unemployment project of mine, http://www.beyondthemat.org. Blessings and Light.
Accepting the fact that I am NOT in charge of my life was quite a blow to my ego. LOL, but I realized that while I’m not in charge of WHAT happens, I am fully in charge of how I RESPOND to what happens, and I think there in lies the true key. As a person who thrives on having “a plan”, it can be very unsettling to have my perfect little plan completely disregarded when God decides to take me down a different path. But, what I’ve learned in my 40 years on this planet is this….everytime He steers me “off course”, it has turned out better than my wildest dreams had hoped for!!
SO, as a ‘recovering control freak”, let me just say this, having a plan is still a good thing, just be willing to throw it out the window when you are moved to change course!!
May your family continue to be well!
Michelle
Max,
I loved this post. I couldn’t agree more but I never tire of hearing this message because not everyone thinks this way and it’s MAGICAL and TRANSFORMATIVE to be reminded. So thank you for reminders! I’m thinking of you and your dad often during this time. You’re cool for living in the suburbs because you know what’s truly important so bless you and keep on rockin! HI ERICA!
Much love,
Anne Heaton
Yes, I agree with this post. Perspective matters, and it’s fun to go on the ride that the Universe takes you on. Good job Max!