Dear Tribe.
I’m going to go out on a limb here and share something very deep, personal, vulnerable, and authentic to me. I didn’t censor, edit, or hold-back here. Feel free to leave your comments at the end, if you’re called…
–
It’s Friday night and I am once again feeling the urge to stay in and hibernate from the world.
Since coming back from Asia after my month long adventure, I have felt different…
…Disengaged.
…Distant.
…Restless.
There is no reason for these feelings, because life is good. Business is great. In fact, it’s more than great. It’s thriving.
But that’s not the issue. What’s happening inside of me is the issue.
You see, while I was traveling the world, I became aware of many of my deepest fears and ugliest shadows, around money, sex, love, freedom, purpose, happiness, truth, authenticity, and being.
Because as I traveled from place to place, I discovered that SO MANY people in other parts of the world just don’t have the opportunities, the freedom, the money, the choices, or the education that we do.
It made me see how fortunate we really are.
And as I met these people, connected with these people, and was so warmly welcomed into their homes and hearts by these people, I couldn’t help but think about how selfish, greedy, indulgent, and egocentric I have been at times.
…And because that reflection doesn’t feel good, I’m taking a deep hard look at what needs to shift inside of myself so that these patterns doesn’t repeat again.
Insights are coming….but slowly. And this process is uncomfortable.
Oh, if you’re wondering what I mean by “a shadow”, it’s an energy or a thought that exists within you that you don’t want to acknowledge, because you’re embarrassed or ashamed about it…
…And everyone has them (whether you choose to admit it or not). I became acutely aware of many of mine on this trip.
Then, to drive the nail a little deeper, I arrive home to many of my closest friends expressing their feelings of sadness, anger, and disappointment (to me) that I didn’t connect with them sooner, pay closer attention to their needs, or handle previous interactions with more consideration, care, or sensitivity.
And I have no defense.
Because when they share their side, I can stand in their shoes, and feel their pain, and know that there is some truth to what they say.
And it hurts both of us.
So if you’re wondering WHY I’m opening up this inner dialogue to you, first and foremost, it’s because I want to let you know that I’m just like you.
I have moments of doubts, fears, and considerations. I make mistakes. I hurt people’s feelings. And I definitely have more work to do on myself.
So please feel free to honor and respect my accomplishments in business (because I am one hell of a good entrepreneur and coach)…
…but please take me off of any pedestal, because I’m human, just like you.
Secondly, I share this with you because as a cherished member of this tribe, I am committed to your growth and evolution. So I want to let you know how I’m dealing with this current experience, because I think it will be useful to you.
Mostly because many have been telling me that they are going through something similar…
…In that you might feel disconnected, sad, frustrated, confused, or flat out broken down by this whole game of life and business.
So let me ask you a question about my story that might help you see a different perspective.
Do you think that something is wrong with me? No.
Do you feel like I’m a bad person? No.
Do you get a sense that this will last? No.
As an outsider looking in, I’m sure that it’s easy for you to come to the same conclusion as I have – that everything is fine and this is just a phase.
In fact, I’m reminded of one of my favorite quotes: “This too shall pass.”
Because it will (and always does).
So if you’re struggling these days, start by acknowledging this very same wisdom for yourself. You’re in a phase, and it will pass.
Each day, I feel a little stronger, clearer, and more focused. It hasn’t been a quick recovery…but that just means it’s a deep transformation.
Next, understand that your inward practices are of the utmost importance right now. Growing up, my mom used to always say the same thing over and over again when I was feeling depressed:
“Go back to the self. Go back to the self. Go back to the self.”
Which means spend more time inside, do less, and focus on taking great care of yourself.
Good advice. I’ve stepped up my yoga practice and added on an additional meditation per day. It would probably serve you to do the same.
Lastly, if your phase is lasting longer than a few weeks, it’s time to get help. You see, people are often surprised by the amount of personal development and business events, seminars, and programs I attend / buy.
Because I’ve learned that getting into the energy of growth, evolution, and possibility keeps you moving forward instead of remaining stuck…and isn’t that the game?
So if your business is feeling stuck, come to our next event on Feb 18-21 in Corona, CA. There is no better retreat on the planet that will give you the clarity, focus, tools, and support to thrive right now. I guarantee that.
If you need personal support, spiritual support, energetic support, health support, or any other kind of support…
Leave a comment below with what you need and either someone in the tribe or myself will likely have a good solution for you.
And thank you for being a part of my life, accepting all parts of me, allowing me to be open, human and vulnerable, and for participating in these conversations with me (and the rest of the tribe).
It means so much to me to have this forum to share with you, and I hope that you receive tremendous value from these notes. As long as you keep showing up, I’ll do the same.
As always, I welcome and appreciate your thoughts.
Much love,
Max
Thank you. You know these things come up in me. It is nice to see it shared by you, too. It felt grounding and contextualizing of ‘enlightened entrepreneurship’ in both the planetary and personal full spectrum of life. There is always someone or something more than us and less than us, that it become irrelevant. We be present in the moment, let our shadow come up to resolve, and we awaken and move on.
I’m aware of how things are happening with or without our “effort.” They are happening and I am reminded here that the important effort is that force of the heart being present, and we’ll be exactly where we are meant to be. When this is incorporated into life and business, we’re freed from regret and more able to flow from our true self. These are truths I get from Max here and from Vishen yesterday.
Since being at Step Up and Lead Now, I’ve experienced shifts in perspective and gradual improvements in my business that are groundworks for my explosion, or turning point that is surely around the next curve. So thank goodness for curves – how cool!
Thank you, Max, for bringing your authentic self out to share with so many people. As I’ve said to so many clients, you can only go as high as you are willing to go deep. All that you are experiencing is a deepening of your humanity. Most of us avoid it at all costs. But, diving down into it is what gives us freedom to be our Authentic Selves. Many Blessings, MichelJoy
Max, might I say, what a beautiful time in your life, experiencing the high of travels in December, and now the depth of your shadow in January. Ahh so beautiful indeed. This is why I said YES to working with you, you accept the highs and lows equally in your life. And so do I. I am moved to share what the first month of January has been for me:
Yes, I know no one likes to talk about death, but why are we so scared of it anyways, it is our greatest teacher after all…
So much is happening in my life right now, filled with intense beauty, on many levels. I just lost my aunt and uncle this last week, and I am about to lose my grandmother and another aunt very soon. I foresee four memorial services in my future. On an inner level my time as a child and seeing my relatives as immortal adults has vanished into mortality all within in a week. I guess I really am in my thirties after all…
My heart is sad because I loved them in ways I did not realize till now that they are gone. And to my surprise I find myself waking up feeling sooo aware that this life, is very very temporary, and all the doubts that I have allowed in myself to hold me back are completely ridiculous… I now realize my doubts are not worthy of existing, though from understanding the mind that they will always exist, but me giving them any sort of power in my life seems funny to me now..
I must live my dreams, go after them and not live in fear… I watched my aunt die last week, she took her last breathe with 12 family members by her side including myself, and little did I know my life would forever change from being there by her side. I know she lives on forever, I know she is in the light, for I held the light for her for two days as I watched her body shut down. That is not my point.
When she exhaled for the last time I inhaled.
Now I know to truly live because she is gone, and is now only in my memories.
And now I know why I was waiting to write my vision for the new year 2010, aka 20ZEN, and now I know why I am not writing it till now, because I knew this was going to be a deep year for me, and my inner voice was saying let this be the year you read and live “A Year To Live.” And now I see why.
Death is not as scary as it seems, it is quite peaceful actually, you just take your last exhale and off to the spirit world you go.. It is waking up each morning on the inhale and finding out each day how to really live. What if this was the last year of your life??? And yes I can hear it again, why are you asking that, no one wants to think about death??? And now I ask why are we not? Life is much bigger than just me alone or you alone, it is so grand and beautiful it must be celebrated and fully lived. By us all.
I have been so floored by my first month of the new year. It is the real deal, losing someone you love, no matter how much you know there is an after life, no matter how much you know to hold the light, it still really really hurts, and the grief is just my heart broken, and raw and so open to how precious life really truly is..
And lastly, I now realize why this is happening as I am also beginning to launch my passion filled career of sharing real authentic BEAUTY to the world. Because I had to see how beautiful life is once again, in and of itself. Naked and raw.
Beauty is just being alive. So simple and so true.
I am so grateful for my aunt passing and being their to witness it myself. She reminded me to live truly deeply from my heart, even if no one else is. I love you Aunt Kathy and thank you, you are always in my heart.
Now I am going for it. Death is birth after all.. love, Audra
(To be added to my mailing list, and be a part of the launch to my website in the next week email me, and I will add you to my Blissfully Beautiful Newsletter, were we can explore together what Real Beauty Truly Is. email: info@reclaimyourbeauty.com)
Doesn’t it feel good to be exposed?!?!
This is the stuff extraordinary leaders are made of. I am grateful for what your eyes have seen and what your senses experienced in Asia, because you’ll be able to relate to a good chunk of your tribe on a deeper level. This is why I am working with you.
When I returned after 8 months in India, Bali and everywhere in between, I was going through the same things as you (and still am). It felt as though my entire being was shaken and everything that was not truly me bubbled on the surface for everyone to see, and for me to no longer deny. That was a turning point when I realized, I cannot be anyone else anymore, and was motivated to reveal, accept and honor the gifts that flowed through me.
I have been back for 3 months, and I was told that it gets harder. I didn’t believe it. It’s true. What you are experiencing now actually gets worse.
Everyone, take my lessons learned and advice from those that love me:
1. I was confused so I was pushing for answers, which result in more confusion and frustration
2. I was used to making quick decisions and giving immediate answers, but now had to practice saying “I’ll get back to you.”
3. Release all self-expectation and don’t worry what anyone thinks of you.
4. Recognized that when you feel unaligned, and know that you are still aligned.
5. Realize that confusion is a place for growth. When growth is finished, then the answer comes.
6. Trust that the answers come.
7. Most importantly…only be around those that truly love you.
What I need, is for you to tie a bow around your present state of being and extract its gifts, slowly.
Thank you Max. I have always seen you first and foremost, as a human. And I think that’s why your message and methods are so well-received. You encourage the marketing of truth. We are evolving quickly, and we, as a tribe, are very good at sensing BS.
While we are on the personal side, I always keep an enlightening introspective (dare-I-say “self-help”) book in my bathroom reading. I envision my shadows leaving me while I’m bringing aid and guidance in…
Max thanks for this direct and honest entry. As I step into and through these sensations in me, being reminded of the humanity that shares this place helps me know that it is not that I have lost the path….but that even these moments of darkness…isolation…questioning all things…….is the path! Thank you for revealing your humanity.
Hi Max,
thank you, you are doing the work. I’d just like to suggest another perspective regarding what you said about you having more opportunities, freedom, money, choices, or education than what the people you met do. It seems to me that you are beating yourself up because you have all these things, and they don’t.
But please stop for a moment and consider if the people you saw truly haven’t got the same freedom, choices and opportunity to grow as you do. Not the same amount of money, agreed, not the same kind of education, agreed… but why ignore how they have the same spiritual essence and guidance as you do, and how they do indeed learn and grow and evolve, in their way. Which, considering the warmth and hospitality you describe… can’t be that bad.
So it was a different world. People with another context, capable to show you how growth and success is not necessarily measured in ways usual in your world (money, conventional education, etc). I would not be guilt ridden about what I have. I would thank my own experience for showing me so much more, for giving me new points of view about what is important to me today.
Do not brush away what you are feeling inside with “this too shall pass”, before you really look for what your heart is telling you. I think you must be growing very fast, and I hope you don’t waste too much time on guilt, but focus on the treasure- the insights about what is important to you now.
lots of love, aurora
Dear Max,
thank you once again for you transparency and authenticity. I truly appreciate it This week I have had many ‘highs’ followed by a BIG ‘low’ and coming out the other side I was reminded of a quote which essentially says:
“Success and Failure are nothing but illusions and true enlightenment comes from treating these strange bedfellows just the same.”
I have learned as much and more from my ‘down’ times as I have in my ‘happy’ times. I have much more to share wth the world when I acknowledge my path is simply one of growth and development. That who I become is much much more important than what I achieve.
With regard to those who have less opportunity and less education and less money, to me it is all relative and it just makes me more passionate about sharing with them the tools and techniques that allow them to be more of themselves in the world.
They are me and I am them, we are all ONE. So there is no need for judgement of myself or them, just practical application of this TRUTH. So I commit and re-commit to growing and helping others to grow wherever they are in the world and whatever they’re facing.
Much love Yve x
Hey Max,
Thank you brother. We must know darkness to notice the light. I spent 5 years travelling, feeling so many emotions, so many ups and downs. Then I went to your event and now I flow……
Massive respect and love,
Hazel
Ah the realness of another soul. Max, we’ve not met. We will someday. Until then, I want to say bravo to you and thank you for openeing this side of yourself. It is a gift. It is truth. It is what is present. And because it is present, it gets to be seen and shared and held and understood. As a teacher, you get to have your shadows and thank God you do. You become human when you let us into this side of you. Your lessons and teachings have greater relevance and impact. There is boldness in being vulnerable and this mornign I am thankful for the beauty of your boldness. Much love, pal. John D.
Hi Max! Just wanted to say that I love the blogs, and always feel refreshed and more clear after reading them. I don’t get the same feeling from watching the video clips, so I appreciate when the blog is updated
I’m needing a breakthrough in my life; spiritually, physically, and emotionally. Thank you again for doing what you do.
Hi Max,
I have been reading your blogs and watching your video blogs for a while. Thanks for sharing your knowledge wisdom. Appreciate it
Peace,
Venky
Chopra Center Educator
Hey Max,
Wow, this was just what I needed today! After a week that just CREAMED me, I went back to yoga last night, decided to add an extra meditation to my day and simplify things. And then I read your post. Thank you for the validation that even Mr. Calm, Cool and Collected once and awhile wants to hibernate.
Keep up the amazing work!
Marley
Dear Max,
Thanks for your authenticity, your openness and your willingness to be seen.
Let’s not make ourselves wrong for the huge spectrum of ways that we are human and that we show up. I’m currently noticing a similar theme in my life, having thoughts that I could have behaved differently in the past and made different, more beneficial choices. I’m also noticing tendencies in myself that don’t serve me and the higher good.
The truth is that we do the best we can as we go! I’m choosing to use the new information I have about myself from these experiences/relationships to make new choices in the NOW.
Let’s forgive ourselves and love ourselves through our learning process! Sometimes the pendulum has to swing really far one way to make its way back to center.
Enjoy the process Max. It’s all good.
You are LOVED.
xo M.eV
Max-
We have never met, but I honor your work and what you are brining to the world. Thank you- THANK YOU- for your candor and courage. Your strengths and vulnerabilities are equally inspiring!
I have been intending to start a blog of my own… in reading yours, I am amazed by the parallels….. it feels as though I just read my own experience down to the finest details only in another’s words.
Your mom’s simple, yet powerful insight is THE WAY HOME!!! “Return to the Self.” Yes, yes!!! When we honor ourselves by prioritizing the fuel unleashed in the inner space, we give others permission to do the same.
It sounds like you are charting new territory. What a gift! For you and the tribe!
Thank you for the beauty made visible.
Veronica
Hi Max,
I have also been going through heavy releasing and transforming. At present, I do not have a business, but plan to do so in my future. I could not possible afford your event and currently I’m not working,T but I enjoy reading what you post. Thank you for sharing.
Max I am a big fan, and don’t get me wrong on this… I LOVE authenticity, honesty and integrity and you nailed me right in the heart with this post
My only comment or suggestion is this:
I wish you would have left marketing your event out of this completely,
I understand marketing, the funnel, the process of dating.. you are a kind and honest master of this Max…For me, if it was left out, It would have been !00% raw
I still give you a 10+ A+++ for sharing and taking the time to open your heart
I know your event will be filled wiht light, learning and love!
it is one of the most powerful things we can do – feel our pain, our disengagement – our own shadow… to know the shadow is to be able to access the light… because where the light of consciousness shines there is no more darkness…
I have been learning to feel expansion while feeling, pain, grief or numbness. To hold space within myself – for all of myself – to hold space for the inclusion of ALL life – it can open the door to the deepest compassion.
May all beings be peaceful, may all beings be healed!
Love you always, my dear! Anka
We are all brothers and sisters and have our moments of greatness and sadness. Continue to surround yourself with expanding energy and you will always be well. Much love to my friend.
Cheers
Rono
Tribe,
Thank you for engaging in this conversation. It is deeply fulfilling to read your thoughts (so keep em’ coming).
I write these posts, both because they are a phenomenal personal outlet for sharing with you, and because I believe we have something very special amongst this tribe of Enlightened Entrepreneurs (and those gearing up to be) that is fueling the new paradigm of business and life.
That is, to use business as a vehicle to make a powerfully positive difference the world, allow people to express their authentic truth, and open up a space for community and connection (which is so important right now).
And here are a few thoughts for you in return:
Michael, Audra, Maria, and Hazel: it’s so inspiring and humbling to read your reasons for starting with me, and hearing about your breakthroughs since attending our event. I am so proud of you, and do please keep sharing your evolutionary experiences. It’s very powerful to hear your transformations.
Michel – I love this quote: “you can only go as high as you are willing to go deep”. So good, and I couldn’t agree more…
Ingo – I hear you, and consider this other perspective. When you believe in something so passionately, so powerfully, and with so much intention, that you’re willing to open up an invitation for others to join at every chance you get, you might feel a little different.
And to everyone else who shared, thank you. Now let’s keep this conversation going…
Love,
Max
Hi Max!
I can feel your heart and deeply appreciate your candid sharing.
My spiritual “Tribe” mentors/friends, began passing on in 1989. I have experienced the culture at the time where working from and through spirit had not been totally embraced or accepted, much less melding business with spirit.
I genuinely connected with spirit through dance and was fortunate to live in a state where the University was one of two opportunites in the country to dance in a company while pursuing a BA degree. After having three wonderful children, and teaching a little on the side, I completed my last year for my degree, thirteen years later.
Nineteen years later after six relocations due to my husbands cooperate managerial positions (”bloom where your are planted”) and six years after our divorce, my daughter and I formed a non-profit School of Dance and Chamber Dance Company which ran for ten years. We did it because of our passion and love for dance.
I only share my “story”, because through dance, yoga, meditation, and many personal losses, including one of my son’s, Oct., 2007, (thank you Jeff, for your optimism, dear and true heart, awe of the universe, living life to its fullest and your glowing smile which still resides in my heart)I connected with and discoverd other gifts I’ve been blessed to receive and been able to use throughout the years, counseling others. I can say we truly do learn through teaching, and personal experiences more so than “borrowed knowledge”. Our pain, sorrow and getting real within our own lives, do carve us out with the growing capacity for joy, compassion and through our personal experiences discover what really matters.
Max, you are the real McCoy! Your inspiring and passionate perspective, message and intention shines through! Thank you for providing this forum as it is for me truly the “launch -pin” into breathing the quantum field of possiblilty into an expanded form/methods, direction and focus.
Namaste’,
Claudia
Hi Max,thank you for sharing. I feel what you feel or ‘ve felt. Last year, I went back (after 50 years )to where I was born (Congo). Back to my roots; back to the roots of humanity, back to simplicity, to authenticity, to sharing, to joy just for the joy without hidden agenda. Doing this I understand that life is easy, but we are greedy. We want to catch, to hold, to cling to material things. My heart is open now and so it’s easier to let flow all the abundance in my life and around me if they want.
So thank you, thank you, thank you. I love you.
Tine
I am called to be there. To do that I need to step up to the plate and lead two new clients to say yes to their transformation, growth and dreams! I can do it.
Julia Mikk’s acknowledgement of Max’s heart, wisdom and skill is a ditto for me!
I am here for you, too, Max. I seek to bring my gifts to my tribe. I have gifts for you.
Max, dear sweet soul…
it has been some time since I’ve connected with the tribe. This internal work you mention, I have been completely immersing myself in. The “urge to stay in and hibernate” can be strong and important. I like to call it cultivation of self.
It is true…most people here in the states, we are so privileged and blessed beyond belief. It is a balancing act to stay in gratitude for all our abundance and continue to expand in self-growth.
I feel that there is a tribe of people that are becoming very connecting with the “collective consciousness.” Since moving to northern California just as winter started, I have felt more connected than ever to this expansion of self that is occurring.
To be a leader takes great courage; most of you becomes exposed. Most of us get to expand and contract in the privacy of our own small environments… however, a leader gets the spotlight. It can be a blessing and a curse all at the same time (for lack of more eloquent words). To really step-up and lead and say, hey, I think I have something that can help you… listen to what I say. Then all eyes are on you and many will put you on a pedestal. Yes, you are committed to being at your highest. It is empowering to expose vulnerability as a leader. Allows other to learn about the process of transformation.
It’s easy to forget that we all are human, because many of us are so tapped into to higher understanding of the Divine spirit. We want to believe in our “superhero” powers.
I’d like to share that many people are feeling vulnerable right now, a little bit out of control, facing our ego/shadow/darkness, searching within to connect to that Deep inner self of self-love and peace. We are being called and asked to do the work for the larger collective. Those of us that choose to do the work feel an innate responsibility, to ourself and for humanity.
I encourage compassion, connection and patience. Being is being. One can not be hurt by listening to others about self unless there is some attachment or judgment involved. I recommend to anyone that is going through this process to consider reading “Frequency,” by Penney Pierce.
Max, I love you. You have been a wonderful friend and I am grateful for your courage to be a leader in the world today when so much deep transformation in occurring. May our paths cross soon.
Peace and warm love, Sheila
wow Thank you for being honest , I am experiencing the same thing on and off,
I feel the pain,sorrow and unawareness of a lot of people around me and it makes me want to give up on this world ,
curl up and hibernate sounds good , a lot of times…
how silly it sounds, as I know and I feel also how powerful, filled with hopes and good vibes I am when I just go back inside,
this shadow does have to come in the light and I’m facing some of it right now,
I do want to face it all and be free from any unconscious behaviors. Shift!
Thank you for sharing how you are walking the same road, kicking that pedestal away and staying true.
Thank you; Great Timing. I have prayed for a message and this is it.
Love; Light and happiness to you!
Hi, Max,
“This too shall pass” is one of my favorites, along with “Where God closes a door, He opens a window”! I don’t have a business (YET!), but I know I want to serve the greater good. I work at a day school and believe my talents and attitude serve that community as well as my own children. As my priority is my children, I am obligated and privileged to be at their Family Weekend at their college the weekend of your event. I have a screenplay in me, a love of serving, and might I ask, please – in lieu of attending this event, what would be the one thing you would suggest I do or read or experience to catapult my success until you offer another retreat?
You really are such a lovely soul, and I’m so very privileged also to part of the Tribe! I’m friends with Lissa Coffey, who is a friend of yours and a big fan. Our children go to college together.
Thanks so much, and much love!!
Cyndi
What does it mean when it ays my comment is awaiting moderation?
Max, it is a rare and courageous spirit that both holds aloft a torch and can yet admit that the vessel that carries the light is at times ponderous!
You began the article with the idea of ‘opportunity’ and I would like to take this one to bring you something that I am certain would both en-lighten the understanding of this trait. What you describe is the path of the true warrior, who stalking his or her own growth relentlessly, will come upon enigmas of their own making. The serene conclusion to this enigma lies in the ‘wholy geometry’ of 1+1=3. In the ennobling art of enabling another, your own majesty shines forth. I would be honoured to describe this process to you. My email is of course submitted. With respect and hoping that we will meet soon,
Dream Warrior Jenni P
4. make a list of 5 things that are not working
5. pick one proactive responsive action equal to one hour of your time and commit to taking that action, no matter how uncomfortable.