OK….let’s shake things up here a bit.
Listen, we all know to be grateful for the good stuff like our family, friends, house, clothes, etc, so we really don’t need another reminder about that (even though we’re bound to get at least 50 of those happy happy be thankful emails).
So I wanted to talk about something a little deeper….and juicier…..and darker (oh my!).
You see, next week we have our SOLD-OUT Step Up & Lead Now Retreat and people are flying in from all over the world to attend. During this life-changing 4-day experience, I will take participants through a powerful journey to own and embrace every painful, sad, challenging, f*cked up thing that has ever happened in their past.
I know it doesn’t sound like very much fun….but there’s a very good reason for it (and it’s actually really amazing and enjoyable process when done with a room full of supportive people).
You see, the absolute GREATEST way to grow your business and become irresistibly attractive to your tribe (customers) is to tell your AUTHENTIC story in a captivating and powerful way. That means being fully willing to let out the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Because the truth is that people don’t want to learn, listen to, or follow the all-mighty leader who has been perfect since the beginning of time. Why? Because that makes us feel totally inadequate and flawed when we start comparing our own messy path to theirs (which I know we’re not supposed to do….but let’s face it, we do!).
Instead, we want someone who is real, genuine, and has the consciousness to meet us where we’re at. We want to know that they can empathize with our pain, understand our problems, and have real-world solutions to our issues.
We want someone who is willing to show more than just a bright, shiny, happy face….because that’s not what we need most of the time.
So here’s a new little twist on the giving thanks part of this holiday. This Thanksgiving, take a moment to find gratitude for all the really crazy and totally messed up things that have happened to you from this past year…
…And even if you’re still in them, know that your current circumstance is becoming the fuel for a super juicy story that will make you a stronger, better, and more respected leader some point in the near future (dare I say, even NOW!).
Can you see that?
So…to lead by example, here are my top 3 CRAZY stories from 2009 that I am ever so grateful for (even though they totally sucked at the time):
1) The TWO times my merchant accounts decided to hold money from me, resulting in over $45,000 in locked up funds (almost causing us to go under both times…ALMOST).
2) When I used copyrighted content from one of my coaches and didn’t give him proper credit, got totally busted, and then had to come to terms with the fact that I was completely out of integrity (and write a very heartfelt apology letter and took a good strong look in the mirror about how I was showing up).
3) When I went to all of the marketing seminars, learned out-of-integrity tactics, and then went on to use manipulative sales strategies to get people to buy which left me feeling slimy, out of alignment, and often resulted in refunds (or just a really bad impression that took some time to clear).
As you can see (and probably feel), these were not good moments for me. But they were necessary; because without them, I might not have had the personal experiences or drive to develop a new way of doing business and marketing that was congruent, authentic, and fully conscious.
Because for some reason, you have to experience the dark in order to step into the light….let’s face it, we are creatures of contrast.
So despite the pain and suffering these experiences caused to the people in my life, my business, and myself, I believe that they were 100% worth it because of what developed out of the ashes.
If you would like to celebrate with me, take a bold step forward and share one thing happened to you in 2009 that wasn’t pretty but gave rise to a powerful new awareness / perspective / attitude.
Be grateful for your shadows. They are often times the strongest fuel for creating a better world.
As always, I would LOVE to hear your thoughts below.
Max, do you mean stories like, “I lent my ex business partner $10k for supposedly a short term.” I had the money in a tax payable account, so it really wasn’t mine to lend. You can imagine where this story is going, my ex partner couldn’t pay me back when he originally said, my quarterly taxes became due and I couldn’t pay them. Or a story like, “As I was scrambling for money, I had to put off paying some bills…..the enlightened way I did this, was to put the bills un-opened in a bag in my closet, I guess somehow hoping they would either go away, or pay themselves.” Small wonder I am coming to your seminar, huh! Stephan
Max
I love, love, LOVE your message. And while I’m hosting an event today in honor of Gratitude, and I suspect that many of the messages I’ll be sharing – from listeners on the radio show – will be those of “high side” gratitude, I know that some growth and authenticity only comes thru adversity and challenge.
I celebrate your unveiled, unattractive shares… and I will come back to your blog to share something “that wasn’t pretty” from this year. (There are MANY to choose from!) The Gratitude Experience airs in just 3 hours. I will come back.
Together we can/will change the world by the way we do business with authenticity, cooperation, Soul-aligned-inspired action, and conscious engagement. I celebrate you for stepping up and out with such clear intent.
Blessings,
Tambra
A perfectionist at heart, I have noticed first hand that people are intimidated by someone who appears to be perfect. I have spent SO much energy trying to live flawlessly, thinking that this will make people respect me more, and yet seems that as soon as I put my guard down and do something dumb (purposefully or not), people seem much more willing to get to know me. Weird, but true.
My story from this year is really hard to tell, and yet it has also opened a lot of doors to me. It begins in March of 2007 when I got my first real job after college working for a large corporation. I moved out of my hometown, found a great apartment, and got to work. However, as with many new college graduates, the work I was doing was woefully uninspiring. I made spreadsheets that were never seen, sat through meetings that didn’t apply to me and went to mentoring sessions that didn’t answer the multitudes of questions that were coming up in my life. Having moved away from my family and friends, my support system was basically nonexistent. Plus, I was having relationship issues as well. My world crashed in around me. I fell into deep depression, quit going to work (out on medical leave), quit talking to people, basically just locked myself in my apartment and moped until the following March, when I finally quit my job.
I’ve pretty much floundered around all year. I was a waitress for a little while. I started an online store, which failed from poor planning (my profit margins were much too low). Now I have two part time jobs – one as a secretary and the other as a yoga teacher – and I’ve learned some very important lessons.
Number One – Making money is important. I have some grand ideals when it comes to working for a living – I would rather live to work than work to live. But sometimes it is necessary to put your ideals on the back burner and just focus on remaining fed, clothed and sheltered. And honestly, it’s not as bad as it sounds.
Number Two – Patience is a virtue. This goes hand in hand with number one. I was so excited to do something great with my life, and I got so frustrated when I wasn’t moving fast enough that I ended up completely depressed with the way things had turned out for me. I jumped into my dreams out of desperation and found myself horribly unprepared.
Number Three – Having a support system makes a world of difference. I firmly believe that if I had had someone I could trust during that trying time, things wouldn’t have gotten out of hand. I am thankful each day for the support system I have built over the past few months.
Number Four – Gratitude is the key to contentment. Plain and simple.
I have a lot of ideas for my future right now, but I’m trying to be patient and figure out which path is best for me. It has definitely been a growing year, but I am thankful for all the challenges life has thrown me. If nothing else, the future looks much brighter today than it did this time last year, and I am truly grateful for that.
I’m not a Thanksgiving celebrater (being Australian) but I love the idea of having a point of gratitude and reflection, so maybe this is the start of a tradition.
My two reflection points would be:
1) Starting a new relationship purely because my ex-partner had rung to say he had. As a result, I ‘chose’ someone who was lovely, but not right for me. We lasted a few months, but this awful fault-finding mindset came in and I was starting to dismantle him. It was a soul-destroying process, even more so because he was trying to be patient and loving.
Needless to say, it has taught me quite a lesson. No matter what your desires or needs are, you need right feeling and right intention to form real relationships.
2) I got very burned out by work and life last year, and decided to coast a bit after I left my job. I took a consulting gig that didn’t pay so well and treated it very casually. The work was not super-agenda, so I did it when it suited me, taking little note of other peoples’ agenda. When pinned about finishing dates, I said that I had competing, urgent deadlines and would have to attend to them first. This went on and on, until I got a much more attractive gig and burned through the work in three ‘midnight oil’ nights.
On reflection, this is not unlike the first example. A second-best option was presented to me and I grabbed it as a soft landing, without any sense of gratitude or responsibility.
I’ve learned a couple of things since – to check in with myself before diving in (am I in integrity here?) and if it does serve some legitimate purpose, be honest about what/how much I can offer and honour the opportunity in a conscious, clear-boundaried way. Otherwise, be positive and respectful, then get out of the way so the right person ends up with the opportunity … or at the very least, no-one gets hurt.
Thanks Max, I like what you’re doing here and wish I could be at the retreat. All the best, Janet
These are really powerful and inspiring stories everyone. WOW! So amazing….thank you!
bold, honest and you are walking the walk. so grateful for that.
for me its 1) letting go of a trademark I so thought had to work. (still dismantling it). 2) learning that the more events I go to won’t really make it all happen instantly. 3) letting go of a relationship that meant the world to me (family) and just had to say goodbye and give my blessings.
thanks for being who you are that opens the space for me to do the same.
love you Max. xo
tried to ener your competition;but my mail was returned.Any chance of anything happening in the Uk.
Hi Max,
I must be honest-Its hard for me to say I’m grateful for this…..I have a laundry list of crazy stories from this year but here’s a doozie..
While I was in Italy in March my roomie/friend used my credit card I left behind to make some rather large purchases because her lawyer told her she needed to establish credit here in the states(she’s from Mexico) right now due to her immigration issues. When I returned she told me what happened and I chose to put her on my account because I wanted to help her. Then her checking account info was stolen (for real because it just happened to me this week!!!) and the $ she had to make payments for my bill were gone. She is only an authorized user so its MY problem. Hence my credit score has dropped significantly,I can’t pay the bill and I’m in collections.
Lesson learned-I need to take the emotion out of certain situations and look at it using my head and not my heart-even though I’ve done so much work to do the opposite!!! I need to stop trying to save people.
Love and Light,
Erin
Sarah, I have such a similar story it’s uncanny. 4 months ago, I left my friends and family in the midwest and a stable, good marketing job of 5 good years. A new marketing job fell in to my lap and I took the plunge and risk and moved to Los Angeles. This new job lasted 2 months. It was a miserable job where I made spreadsheet after spreadsheet that no one looked at; it was the most uninspiring thing I’ve done to date.
I owned a home back in Michigan where I moved from, and the tenants moved out which left me unable to pay the mortgage, and it’s still in the process of trying to sell. Credit is suffering because of it, and prior to this I had an awesome credit score.
One thing that was going right here was my ability to create a support system (of enlightened, successful, inspiring people) with whom I feel have become a second family to me since I’m nothing like my own.
I am also working 2 part time jobs (but ones that I think I will really enjoy and the schedules are flexible, which will allow me to go down the Teacher’s Path at the Chopra Center for the Seven Spiritual Laws of Yoga). I have a billion ideas of what I can do to start my own business, but need to be patient also. Stay centered, and make sure no action is made out of despiration.
In trying to wrap this up, my grandpa just died Tuesday and I took the red eye home from LAX to Clevaland that night, so I hadn’t slept for over 24 hours when I got an hour and a half nap. Stayed with my Grandma so she wouldn’t have to sleep alone Wednesday and also Thanksgiving night, woke up at 6 am with the flu!!
As I’m typing this right now, I can only laugh at how unbelievable the last 4 months of my life have been! Obviously, with a temperature right now and also greiving for my grandpa, this has been the worst of it, the last few days.
But…I am still grateful for ALL of it, because it’s one hell of a story and I’ve learned so much throughout it all. I am so excited for the retreat next week. I will be back on my feet, excited, and ready to face the demons. Ready to celebrate being with amazing conscious people, and then look forward to a kick ass year. All the while, I’ll be taking in the good and the bad. You have to accept and embrace the bad in order to fully appreciate the good.
Christy
Hi Max,
Just wanted to leave a comment to let you know, yes, yes, yes and another yes, please continue sending the videos that you planned on sending. I would like a little boost in the right direction to get myself past the fear of getting started to share with others what I have to offer.
Ken
Yes, the essence of Authenticity. Re-vealed / Re-veiled Truth, your OWN story, said your way.
Hi,Max,
thanks for sharing your insight, and taking the time to reach out to peoples minds. I help shape the minds, of the very young child. I show love and compassion, while teaching discipline and showing children how to interact with each other. together we discover new and exciting wonders of this world!
Very interesting Max.
My profession is a Plant Manager, but ever since the owners allowed me to start a leadership/management development course for any hourly employees back in 06/08, whenever someone asks what my title is, I now respond verbally or written as Plant Manager/Leader. I have truly found my passion and that is to develop those struggling to become outstanding leaders/managers in what ever organization they belong to. This course has also developed into personal development as well. So, as your video explains, “don’t describe what I do, but what transformation I can offer,” I would venture to guess, my transformation statement is, I am a person unselfish in sharing my insights to allow those I train to become better than who I currently am. I am a provider for the current and future businesses in leadership and management development, where I begin to lay the foundation beginning with personal growth, because in order for you to change other’s, you must realize to change yourself first.
Well Max, I hope this is what you are talking about.
Have a great retreat!!
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